What a great start!

Hey my blogger bunnies.

Just thought you all should know that you missed the most awesome show on Sunday night. Only bad part was that I was working the door so couldn't really get the full impact of the performances. But it was extremely successful nonetheless.

Really hope to see all of you at the next one though, no excuses this time.

Today was actually a really good day, except for my thigh muscles being in permanent spasm from this new dance class that I go to. The moves are a little to advanced for me, but hey, I'm nothing if not stubborn. Really enjoying it, so why stop just because I've lost the use of my left leg?!

But back to my story. So I get to work and my friend AntigenicDrift IM's me (instant message for the less tech savvy) about my gchat status "I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance..."

This of course is a reference to an old 70's song - and we all know I loves me some 70's music. Thus followed the most hilarious conversation.

(If you don't know the song, its not gonna be funny, so click here to give it a listen.)

AntigenicDrift: you know, that is a sad song

me: why?

AntigenicDrift: cos he cheats on her, you must read the lyrics

“dance" is a euphimism

she loves to love

but her baby just loves to "dance"

me: er, no its not

she goes with to the club

AntigenicDrift: er yes it is

me: "stop, I'm spinning like a top. WE"LL dance until we drop"

AntigenicDrift: Oh I love to love

But there's no time for our romance

me: yes, because he is about the party life, and she wants to stay at home

AntigenicDrift: we'll dance the night away BUT IF I HAD MY WAY we'll stay at home and get down

me: now you are just proving my point

AntigenicDrift: i think he's a joller lol im sorry

me: ja, like go to the jol joller

not other women joller

AntigenicDrift: nai kyk hier

me: but that was an interesting take on it

AntigenicDrift: in the future nir

you get gatvol of being dragged where you dont lus to go right

im looking into the future of the song here

me: LOL

AntigenicDrift: so then she IS gonna stay at home right

and then who is he gonna dance with

while she is at home

me: LMAO

naai, I see your point ja

AntigenicDrift: nai really lol dont laugh

me: clouds across the moon

AntigenicDrift: yor another sad song

why long distance dont work out, you might as well be on mars

me: The killer line

"is there someone there with you?"

AntigenicDrift: hahahahaha!

shame thats a sad song

and she has laaities also "the kids say they love you"

me: "but I'm trying not to cry"

that is so not sexy

Tell him what you wearing!

AntigenicDrift: aweh

hi darling, how you doing?

hey baby, i got my 2 piece on, oh im sorry,

is that slut there with you?

oh since you went away that sluts had you in her sights,

i just cant sleep another night,

im not ashamed to say you need your head read,

cos im the best in bed

or something like that

dont come mope here

me: LOL

CLASSIC!!!

PS: AD is in a band, so this is one of the many songs he has "remixed."

Back from my Sabbatical

Hey everybody

I know,I know. Where the hell have I been and how dare I think I can just come waltzing back in as if nothing has happened and I can just go back to that whore I was with because I've got another thing coming if I think you were sitting around waiting for me!

That about it? Feel better now? Good.

So I've been rather busy lately, well not really but let's just say I was. Me and the ex are..."hanging out". It's really nice. :-) I'm happy, can you tell?

So let me tell you about Tuesday. I had a really nice day, which started the night before with me snuggling with The Ex. (Sigh. Shut up.) Tuesday was my good friend Sid's b-day so we had some awesome cake at work, and then I rushed off to have my hair done and then the evening was spent having cocktails with the girls. I was very Sex and the City. Minus the weird clothes, because seriously, who dresses like that?

But then just as I thought karma was doing me a good turn BAM! They broke into my car. I say "they" because that's usually who you blame. You know, them! I came out of the restaurant to find my beautiful car defiled and raped. They did not just break into my car, they BROKE my car! The bent the door so that they could put their hand in from above and open the door. They opened her up like a two dollar whore.

They stole my shades and an old jacket, but best of all, the remote control to my car frontloader. What. the. FUCK!!! Why take the remote? WHY?!!!! I swear that is the thing that sent me over the edge, because before I found out about the remote I was relatively stable. But that was the last straw. So the next motherfucker is getting a butter knife in the neck. Yes, a butter knife. I am that pissed off. The cherry is that my excess on the insurance is 8 times the value of the things that were stolen!

And that is how my day turned from a Sex and the City episode to a cheap version of Law & Order: Useless Crimes. The trip to the police station was hilarious at best, mildly annoying at worst. I got there at 11:40pm, only to be met by a half asleep detective, and then have my statement taken by a women that I saw sleeping in the corner when I came in. She continued to make spelling mistakes on my form, and at one point had to scrap the first draft because it would be easier to start over than grab some tippex. The latest is that I will have to replace the door. Fuck!

New hairstyle = R150

Dinner with friends = R180

R200 of stuff stolen from car causing R1600 of damage = PRICELESS!

To take my mind off above-mentioned breakage of car door, I have been indulging in only the fun parts of work, and reading lamebook.com

It is seriously hilarious. This is my current favourite.

Mini House episode: What's been up lately?

I've lost 3kg in 2 months. Not bad. Until I became premenstrual and my body retained so much water that I gained those 3kg back. Oh yeah, happy times.
As if my pms wasn't bad enough you wanna tell me I gained weight mother fucker?! That's right, I'm looking at you Mr Scale! You know what, FUCK YOU! All you ever do is look at me all judgementaly and call me fat, you insensitive jerk! I wish you would just fuck off and DIE! (runs off crying)

One week later: Hey Mr Scale, I'm sorry about our fight. I know we both said some harsh things but I'm sure we can just put it all behind us and move forward. Together.
Well, would you look at that! Those 3kg are gone again. Well isn't that just the darndest thing...

So my life has been rather exciting lately, but first, let me put you in the scene. I am a House MD fanatic. Best. Series. EVER! However, this addiction has one rather nasty side effect. Every little thing I see on my body makes me believe I have an incredibly rare autoimmune disease, OR I need to go to the hospital so they can stick a huge needle in me before they can make a diagnosis. I freak myself out on a regular basis. Like the whole weight gain in the beginning of this blog. I was all, I have cushions! There is a tumour in my brain that is pushing down on my pituitary gland, which is causing all my hormones to go hay wire leading to this inexplicable weight gain, moodiness and lethargy! OMG I'M GOING TO DIE! usually follows one of these self-diagnoses. But then the "symptom" goes away and I realise for the hundredth time that maybe I should watch less House.

Then came this weekend. I had a really good weekend. I went to visit my friend and watched The Proposal (super funny guys), went to a mad good braai and scored some wee...hey! Are you wearing a wire?!

So that was Friday and Saturday, totally awesome days. Sunday, not so much. Woke up with a cold sore between my chin and my bottom lip. I don't know what that area is called but it was not really on my chin, and it was not on my lip so that is the best I can do. But that was not the problem. Herpes simplex, relatively harmless virus that is forever in your spinal fluid and flares up when your immune system is a bit down from stress or fatigue. Easily explained away. (FYI: Herpes simplex is the good herpes, it keeps the bad genital herpes away. I am not ashamed. And no I did not make out with anyone that is not how you get it!)

So like I was saying, got a cold sore. No big deal. BUT THEN...DUN DUN DUNNNN!
I rested my head on my hand just under my chin and recoiled at my own touch. The area under my chin was swollen and painful to touch. Immediate thought: CANCER! God, where is Wilson when you need him?! I spent all morning trying to calm myself down in the middle of my PMS-House paranoia. I saw the lumbar puncture tests, the biopsies, the failed chemo, the removal of my submandibular gland to find that its NOT CANCER! What's the differential?!!!

Now for the anti-climax. Went to the doc and he said it was an inflammation/infection of the ...come on, we did this just two seconds ago. That's right, the submandibular gland. This had been brought on by the cold sore, which as we know was set off by the immune system being down from the stress/fatigue. He gave me some antibiotics and pain meds.
I have finished the meds and feel a little better. Took two days off. Was beautiful man. I got to watch House all day!!!