Friday, September 11, 2009

Warning: Friendship zone ahead!

So Sid and I are at work, wasting time (obviously) by chatting up a storm, and somehow the conversation leads to the explanation of “The Friendship Box”. You see, I met a guy a few years ago who I immediately placed in the Friendship box. He was a little perturbed when he tried to ask me out and I was all "But we're friends!"
"How the hell did I become your friend? This is some bullshit. Don't I even have a say?"
I gave Sid the same explanation I gave him, and I thought by blogging about it this could be my good deed for the day.

Well fellas, there is good and bad news. You don’t have to do anything to be placed in the friendship box. Usually, it is completely NOT YOUR FAULT. Don’t let ladies fool you with that “I want someone with a nice personality” bullshit. Women decide within the first 5 seconds if they are going to sleep with you. Yes gentleman, FIVE! Five seconds is all you have. Hence the first 5 seconds can only be based on a physical attraction right? WRONG! I said I would explain, I never promised for it to make sense.

Sometimes it’s how someone has described you, the shirt you are wearing, your cologne, how you shook her hand, whether you said Hi or Hello, and a million other possible reasons that ultimately mean you ain’t hittin’ that. EVER.

Hence, I like to refer to the entrance of the Friendship Zone as the Friendship Trapdoor. Once you have sprung the trapdoor there is a slide that leads down to the Box. Once in the box it is virtually impossible to climb out. And yes, we are well aware that you poor schmucks try to crawl your way out of there. It’s just not happening dude.

However, for a select few (and I’m talking to you hot boy that works in IT) is a Get-Out-of-Friendship-Box Free Card. But what about the 5 second rule, you say? You didn’t read the fine print, did you?
Yes, the first 5 seconds are where she decides if
she would or wouldn't, but do not necessarily mean that you are Trapdoor approved. It just means that instead of having to climb up a slide, you might just have some very steep stairs.
I'm sure there are gonna people out there all indignant "the rules are not consistent!"
Hey, I never said this process was fair, or even well thought out. This is the process. Just like the modern day money system, it doesn't need to make logical sense to work.

1 comment:

  1. Erm ... does the hot guy in IT have this url? If a guy does the whole limp hand shake thing then I immediately place him in the Friendship Box.